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I thought I would take a few minutes to write in this here blog about my life lately. I haven't had one minute to sit down and write about things for a very long time. But all 4 kids are asleep, my husband is snoring next to me and I actually slept in this morning so I'm not completely wiped out quite yet. I can say that I have never been this busy in my whole life. Not an exaggeration. The only time I am sitting down is when I'm feeding the baby. I am trying my best to find healthy balances between keeping my house clean (ish), playing with my kids, cooking meals, helping with homework, being a single mom, my calling in the Young Womens, taking care of myself and my husband, having somewhat of a social life, and running errands. Some days (most days) I am completely overwhelmed with how many responsibilities I have. I just have to stop and take a second to prioritize and do the most important things first. And some days I feel are an epic failure, but who cares? I get to try again the next day.

I am really putting forth a conscious effort to watch my children....really watch them. I want to remember the sweet moments, how they laugh, how they hug me, how they play with each other. I love getting down on the floor and playing with them. I want them to remember me as a mom who played with them, not a mom who was cleaning all the time. They won't remember a clean house, but they might remember playing the Ladybug Game with me for the 4th time that day. We all may spend every day in our PJs, (or just undies for Olivia) but who cares? We have popcorn movie days and grilled cheese dance parties!

Now, don't get me wrong, my kids drive me crazy too. They are definitely a challenge. Especially Olivia. Holy cow. She can't go one day, not one day, with out destroying something in my house. She likes to rebel and do everything I tell her not to do. But she's also the funniest kid I've ever met. Everything out of her mouth is a surprise. I don't know where she learns most of the stuff she says. So between her getting into everything, Rylie and Davis fighting over just about everything, Jett requiring my every ounce of energy, I consider it a successful day if everyone is breathing at the end of the day.

My health since having the baby has been less than par. I have had this annoying headache for about 3 months straight. My doctor has put me on about 5 different prescriptions to try and help and nothing has worked. Having a headache every day does not help the craziness that already exists. The doctor thinks it might be linked to a little bit of post traumatic stress disorder from everything that happened with Jett. I don't disagree. What I went through was not easy and put a serious amount of stress on my body and mind. I'm just hoping time will help balance my hormones out and things will get better on their own.

This new calling I have in the Young Women is really great. I love being in there and my Laurels are amazing. I am having to have a lot of faith that this is where I am suppose to be though. I am so overwhelmed with everything going on in my life and sometimes this calling seems like something I am not capable of doing well. I'm just trusting that I get help from the Lord and positively influence these girls in some small way. I consider that a success. I am honored to be a part of this program, I only hope I can come across as a leader who has a clue of what she's doing!

My little baby is doing so well. He's still on the small side but I love that!! I am basically obsessed with him. If I wouldn't be considered super annoying, I would post instagram pictures of him all day long. He is sleeping really well at night, he'll wake up maybe once to eat and go right back to sleep. I think he is the cutest thing on the planet and I get a little sad when I have to put him down for naps because I don't like being away from him. Nursing is going so so. I feel like ever since he started sleeping longer at night my milk has gone way down. I've met with a lactation specialist and she didn't really have any suggestions that I haven't already tried. I'm doing the herbal thing, and drinking tons of water. We'll see how it goes. I'm doing my best and that's all I can do.

Michael is still gone all the time. He works and goes to school full time. Still. He will hopefully graduate in August. I don't even know what it will be like to have him home. I have literally been doing this single mom game our whole marriage. I don't know any different. But I do know it's hard and I want a husband who is home more. I do get used to doing things on my own, like everything on my own. Sometimes it doesn't bother me, and sometimes I would kill for another set of hands. It really is getting old and I am so ready, and deserving I think, to have a life that includes my parter in crime here with me, helping me raise these kids. And keeping me company, I crave adult interaction!!!!

I am training for another half marathon. As if I need one more thing to add to my life. But I really really like training for races. I love having a goal to work towards. And I love what happens to my body when I run 25 miles a week. :) I get obsessed with the feeling of accomplishment when I finish a long training run. It does wonders for my sanity and really helps in my self esteem, proving that I can do something really physically hard is very empowering.

All in all, my life is busier than ever, but I am very happy. Not to say that prescription meds don't aid in my sanity, because they absolutely do. I love my crazy life. My new motto right now is "I can only do my best" With all things considered, my best is going to have to be enough because that's all I got!!!