The miracle of forgiveness

There are times in our lives that require tremendous amounts of strength. I have been wanting to talk about this topic for a while but have been compiling words from prophets that would help me say the things I wanted to record and remember. I think everybody at some point needs to hear this and can apply to their lives in one way or another. You will find it speaks a little louder if you are dealing with these issues. This may sound like a talk, but it's just some thoughts I have been struggling with and wanted to remember.
In the scripture D&C 64:8-10 it says
“Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin.

I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men.”
President Spencer W. Kimble says this:
"The lesson stands for us today. Many people, when brought to a reconciliation with others, say that they forgive, but they continue to hold malice, continue to suspect the other party, continue to disbelieve the other’s sincerity. This is sin, for when a reconciliation has been effected and when repentance is claimed, each should forgive and forget, build immediately the fences which have been breached, and restore the former compatibility.
The early disciples evidently expressed words of forgiveness, and on the surface made the required adjustment, but “forgave not one another in their hearts.” This was not a forgiveness, but savored of hypocrisy and deceit and subterfuge. As implied in Christ’s model prayer, it must be a heart action and a purging of one’s mind. Forgiveness means forgetfulness.
To be in the right we must forgive, and we must do so without regard to whether or not our antagonist repents, or how sincere is his transformation, or whether or not he asks our forgiveness. We must follow the example and the teaching of the Master, who said: “… Ye ought to say in your hearts—let God judge between me and thee, and reward thee according to thy deeds.” (D&C 64:11.) But men often are unwilling to leave it to the Lord, fearing perhaps that the Lord might be too merciful, less severe than is proper in the case.



The Lord can judge men by their thoughts as well as by what they say and do, for he knows even the intents of their hearts; but this is not true of humans. We hear what people say, we see what they do, but being unable to discern what they think or intend, we often judge wrongfully if we try to fathom the meaning and motives behind their actions and place on them our own interpretation. 



If we would sue for peace, taking the initiative in settling differences—if we would forgive and forget with all our hearts—if we would cleanse our own souls of sin, bitterness, and guilt before we cast a stone or accusation at others—if we would forgive all real or fancied offenses before we asked forgiveness for our own sins—if we would pay our own debts, large or small, before we pressed our debtors—if we would manage to clear our own eyes of the blinding beams before we magnified the motes in the eyes of others—what a glorious world this would be! Divorce would be reduced to a minimum; courts would be freed from disgusting routines; family life would be heavenly; the building of the kingdom would go forward at an accelerated pace; and that peace which passeth understanding would bring to us all a joy and happiness that has hardly “entered into the heart of man.” 



These are now Andrea's thoughts on the subject. Having been dealing with this issue in our lives, it is a constant strain to try and understand the fact that no matter what, you forgive and you forget. No matter what. I like the quote by Henry Ward Beecher that says-

“I can forgive but I cannot forget is another way of saying I cannot forgive.”

It's never really occurred to me that forgiving IS forgetting. They are one in the same. If you truly forgive someone, you forget the act against you. I think that requires a total change of heart and thought process, that can only be aided by the help of the Lord, because let me tell you, it is hard. Letting go of pride and being willing let the judgement be taken over by the Lord is a seriously difficult thing to do. I have, at one time or another in my life, been on both sides of this process, needing to be forgiven and needing to forgive. Both require strength and a tremendous amount of humility. My mom tells me-

"Not forgiving someone is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die"

Having to forgive someone who you feel isn't sorry for their transgressions and doesn't show any remorse for their actions feels like you're giving up a this huge gift you posses, which is the ability to forgive. It feels like you give this amazing gift to them, which requires so much of yourself, and they laugh at you. Because if they don't care if they are forgiven, you don't feel you should have to forgive them, and hate them forever. Right? Wrong. You don't forgive them for their benefit, you forgive them for your benefit. For your peace and your happiness.

Spencer W. Kimble also said-

"The Lord never promised an easy road, nor a simple gospel, nor low standards, nor a low norm. The price is high, but the goods attained are worth all they cost."

The gift we possess, that is the ability to forgive, has to be given freely and without hesitaion or question in our minds that it is the right thing to do. Simply because the Lord told us to. Let those who wronged you be turned over to the jugement of a higher power and that is actually a pretty comforting thought!!

Gordon B. Hinkley said this-

"Somehow forgiveness, with love and tolerance, accomplishes miricles that can happen in no other way"

So those are my thoughts on the subject, aided by words of the prophets. I felt strongly that I should share them.